


Torn

by NormandyStarlight



Series: Alexis Shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anger, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Love Triangles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:50:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6720481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NormandyStarlight/pseuds/NormandyStarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexis Shepard (Earth-born, Renegon, Ruthless, Vanguard) wakes up after getting spaced to find that two years have passed. Immediately, she searches for her love who rejects her when they finally meet. Her feelings for him never fade, but when another opportunity at happiness presents itself Shepard finds herself genuinely in love with two different people. (And no, this will not end with Shepard and Kaidan being miserable because she can't stop pining for Thane.)</p>
<p>Any applicable warnings will be posted prior to the start of said chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
>   
> Cover art by Gregory-Welter (DA).
> 
> This fic is more a series of short stories than a retelling of the story of Mass Effect. It begins in ME2 and skips anything that isn't pertinent to Shepard's relationships - assume canon unless otherwise noted. Rating is for smut to come and language - Alexis swears like a sailor; you can expect NSFW language in every chapter. 

Alexis Shepard awoke coughing, the stench of an electrical fire burning in her nose. She opened her eyes to see where she was, but immediately clenched them back shut; smoke clouded and stung her sapphire orbs the moment she exposed them. Shepard felt only a light layer of fabric covering the top of her body, and deduced she must be wearing a medical gown. _Where the fuck am I?_ She thought.

Gagging and coughing from the smoke, she carefully rolled her aching body off the bed and gently guided herself down to lay on the floor, hoping to gain some reprieve from the fumes down there. Every limb and muscle felt stiff. _How long have I been out?_ The last thing she remembered was getting spaced above Alchera. She hadn’t expected to live after that. _Maybe this is hell._

Everything seemed blurry, like the morning after a really fun night. Her senses came about one by one; smell, sight, touch, and eventually hearing, which had finally started to function. “Shepard? God, I hope you’re hearing this. You have to get out of there!” an unfamiliar voice laced with an Australian accent called out to her. Alexis groaned loudly in response. “Well, I suppose you’re awake, then,” the voice responded. “Head out of the lab. There’s an equipment locker in the next room. You’re going to need your weapons and armor.”

“Well, thank god for that, because this medical gown is about as protective as a condom with holes in it,” Alexis grumbled as she crawled towards the entrance, her head pounding and body sore.

The voice didn’t react to Shepard’s quip kindly. “Just get…” Static interrupted the message. _Just as well,_ Shepard reflected. _Less distractions._ She had always been a trailblazer. Whoever pointed her to the guns had simply done her a favor; she would’ve figured it out on her own if she had to.

Finally, Shepard reached the door to the lab and forced it open. The next room wasn’t nearly as smoky as the one before, so she carefully stood and found the locker. It was full of a brand new set of armor, specially sized to fit her, and a new pistol and shotgun as well. Shepard shook off the gown and quickly donned the armor. She grabbed as many heat sinks for the guns as she could, too, figuring they must be there for a reason.

Alexis heard an explosion come from the other side of the door and her survival instincts clicked in. She ducked into cover and fired up her barrier, her biotics surprisingly stronger than ever. The buzz of the energy surrounding her gave her new-found spirit – _time to kick some ass._

The door across the room from her opened and two mechs poured in, firing at will. Shepard captured one in a biotic pull, lifting it helplessly into the air, and then used her pistol to pick its limbs off with precision. She charged the second mech biotically, and when it was stunned, Alexis blasted its head off with her shotgun.

Shepard made her way through the facility, making waste of anything that approached or dared to fire at her, and eventually ran into another living being. A dark skinned human was making work of more mechs across the way. She went into the cover next to him and the two finished taking out the enemies. The man then turned to see who had assisted him, and flinched when he saw her. “Woah, shit, Shepard! I didn’t expect to see you up and about.”

Alexis narrowed her eyes at the man. “How the hell do you know who I am and where the fuck am I?” She indignantly ordered the questions answered.

He man ejected his empty thermal clip and placed in a new one as he answered her, not looking her in the eye. “The short answer is you’re in a facility that just spent the last two years bringing you back to life. Everyone on this station knows who you are.”

Shepard felt her heart catch in her throat. _Did he just say “two years?” Bringing me back to life?_

Her mind raced through what the man had just said, noting the repercussions of being gone two years. _Dead. He said you were dead._

_Shit…Kaidan._

Alexis could only imagine what Kaidan had gone through after death. As her mind started to drift down that horrible path, she realized that she wasn’t even sure he had survived. _There will be time to think about and fix that later. Right now, you have to focus on getting out of here._

The man cleared his throat after watching Shepard process the news for a few seconds. “Sorry to be so blunt,” he apologized. “But we should probably talk about the rest of this later. I’m Jacob Taylor, head of security here.”

Shepard looked at him squarely. “No need to apologize. I appreciate the truth. Let’s go.”

The pair made their way through more of the station, decimated more androids, and finally found another man with lighter skin and a cleanly shaven head, who Shepard vaguely recognized. “Hey you.” She abruptly shouted at him. “You were there that time I woke up.”

The man wasn’t amused. “Yeah, and right now, I’ve been shot and could really use some damn medi-gel.”

Alexis didn’t appreciate his attitude. Sure, she dished out her fair share, but being in change meant that others rarely gave it back. That, and she was rather frustrated right now due to waking up under attack after apparently being unconscious for two years. She hadn’t had time to recharge her patience batteries, yet. Jacob took care of getting medi-gel for the other guy, who was apparently named Wilson. The two started talking about some chick named Miranda, when Shepard butted in.

“A woman with an Australian accent spoke to me while I was getting out of bed.” Shepard paused and realized that the voice had probably done more than Shepard realized, even if she didn’t process hearing it right away. “Actually, her voice probably woke me up. She helped me out.”

“That’s Miranda, for sure,” Jacob replied. “There’s no way a few mechs wasted her, Wilson. She can handle herself.”

“Maybe,” the injured man replied gruffly. “But she would know to meet us in the shuttle bay.”

“Fair enough,” Jacob helped Wilson to his feet and then led the three towards the specified destination.

After fighting their way through more attack drones, they came to the door of the hangar. Wilson opened the door and a gorgeous, long-haired woman with blue-grey eyes stood on the other side, her sideearm already drawn. “Nice try, Wilson,” she said, firing three times successively at his chest. The man fell, lifeless, and Jacob began to contest her actions. Alexis had recognized the woman’s voice, and figured she was Miranda. “Wilson’s the one who hacked the mechs to attack us, Jacob. He was trying to kill Shepard along with the rest of us,” Miranda explained.

Jacob sighed heavily, not sure how to respond to betrayal from someone he had worked with closely. Alexis was all too familiar with the feeling and broke into the conversation. “I’m not sure I trust any of you, yet.”

Miranda placed her free hand on her hip, “Fair enough. You want answers, Shepard. And I don’t blame you. But first, let’s get the hell out of here.”

Alexis had always been slow to trust, but also knew that these people had just saved her life, evidently twice, and it wouldn’t make sense to do that just to kill her later. Frustrated with the whole situation, Shepard stepped over Wilson’s dead body and followed the pair to the shuttle. As Miranda and Jacob argued, Alexis’ mind wandered back to Kaidan – she had to find him, and soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos, sabalore, DustieRhoades, and guest! Such a simple gesture really does mean a lot!

 

Alexis sat on her bed in her new, large cabin, and threw a pillow across the length of it.

_Fucking Collectors._

She stood, and threw another.

_Fucking Illusive Man._

And a third.

_Fucking Alliance Brass - Cowards._

And then hurled the fourth and final pillow from her bed.

_Fucking Anderson!_

She wiped a bit of sweat from her brow; she hadn't been tossing the pillows casually and it was a miracle she hadn't broken anything in her loft.

_I need to get a punching bag in here ASAP._

"EDI. Requisition a punching bag for me." Alexis sharply ordered. "One on a stand. For my cabin."

The electronic voice responded promptly. "Done, Shepard. It will be delivered while we are docked here in Zakera Ward within the hour."

"Good." Shepard said as she picked up the nearest pillow to her and threw it again. The soft white square made a surprisingly significant thud against the empty fish tank.

To say Alexis was angry would be an understatement. Within the past 24 hours, she found out that the Collectors are responsible for the human colonies disappearing, _and_ that the Alliance isn't doing anything about it. When she approached Anderson, he basically said they're in denial and wished Shepard luck, but warned her about Cerberus. Alexis didn't necessarily like working with them either, but she didn't really have much of a choice. Also when she had inquired as to where Kaidan was, Anderson refused to tell her because of her affiliation with a "terrorist organization." To top it all off, the Illusive Man told her that the people she trusted weren't available to help, and instead pointed her in the direction of a bunch of others who were likely cronies of his own. All of these things caused Shepard distress, not to mention the fact that she had  recently found out she had apparently been dead for the past two years.

 _At least Tali knows you're alive,_ Shepard thought with the slightest tinge of hope. Alexis was glad she ran into her quarian friend on Freedom's Progress and wished Tali could have come along, but understood that she had obligations.

In all of this, what bothered Alexis most was that Kaidan thought she was dead. She needed to correct that. She wanted so badly to see him. Shepard hated to tell Kaidan via extranet, but thought it would be better than him not knowing at all, and knew it was currently her only option since no one would tell her where the hell he was. Alexis decided to try to get a message through to his old address. _This is a horrible idea._ She thought as she sighed. Her sapphire eyes gazed ahead into the abyss. _Even if it_ does _go through, there's no way he'll even believe it's you. He'll think some asshole is fucking with him._ Her finger lingered over the "send" button, and with a slight twitch, the message was off.

Half a second later, her omnitool pinged, indicating a message:

> _Invalid Extranet Address._

_Figures._

Alexis violently turned off her 'tool and started to suit up. She needed to meet with Kasumi Goto, some thief Tim, which is what she had been calling "The Illusive Man," wanted her to recruit. Miranda and Jacob protested as Shepard headed towards the airlock alone, and she waved them off. Alexis didn't need Tim's compatriots tailing her when she was on the Citadel.

"See ya, Commander," Joker had said in his familiar tone as she approached the door to the airlock. Alexis had to admit that she was grateful that The Illusive Man recruited him. At least Shepard had someone with her who understood what she had been through and who she was before all this happened. Alexis smiled back at Joker, the first she had since this hellish day started. "See ya, Jeffrey." She chuckled as she left, hearing her pilot disapprovingly grumble "oh come on!" Alexis had a habit of calling Joker ridiculous things – it was her version of getting back at him for the times he drove her crazy.

Shepard hopped into a skycar and flew over to the area where she would be "meeting" Kasumi. She parked, stepped out, and headed towards the advertisement column. _This is so stupid._ She thought. _I'm going to look like an insane person…not that that's much a stretch._ She sighed heavily and began her interaction with the cylindrical display. She listened closely as Kasumi spoke, and her keen senses picked up on the light surround-sound quality of the audio. Alexis raised an eyebrow, and looked above her at the cat walk. She could see the slight shimmer of someone who was cloaked, and pointed her pistol straight at it.

"I'm sick of playing games," she sharply said. "Show yourself."

Kasumi slowly came into vision as her cloak crackled off. "You certainly don't lack for being street smart." She smiled wryly. "Or patient."

Alexis let out a short chuckle, entertained by Kasumi's sarcasm. "I think we're going to get along just peachy." The last word was said jokingly, but her sentiment was sincere. The two agreed to meet onboard the Normandy. Much to Shepard's delight, the punching bag was already set up in her cabin by the time she returned.

…And someone had evidently bought her some fish.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexis Shepard comes face to face with Kaidan on Horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to bioticsandheadshots for beta reading this chapter!

 

Much time had passed since Alexis tried sending that message to Kaidan. They'd recruited five others for their mission already: Zaeed, Garrus, Mordin, Grunt and Jack. Zaeed reminded Alexis of a man in New York City, Gage, who watched over her for a while when she was young. Shepard was glad to have Garrus back; someone who she truly trusted was now on her squad pretty much all the time. Mordin seemed interesting to her, though she found she couldn't really relate to him. Grunt cracked Alexis up; she was pleased with her decision to let him out of the tank. And then there was Jack. There was something eerily familiar to her about the "psychotic biotic;" Alexis wanted to get to know Jack. She was going to go speak with her, but Tim called and Kelley asked that Shepard not keep him waiting – evidently whatever he was calling about was important.

It certainly was.

"That's fucking great!" Alexis shouted at The Illusive Man. "You found Kaidan just in time for him to be kidnapped and killed!"

"We've never had this much warning, Shepard." He tapped the butt off his cigarette, his voice remaining calm in spite of her aggressive tone. "Can you keep a clear head during this mission?"

Shepard muttered his question under her breath mockingly. "Of course I can," she affirmed.

"Good. I've already sent the coordinates to Joker," the Illusive Man stated, ending their communication.

"Then off we go!" Alexis declared in a sarcastically enthused manner, turning and mock marching out of the comm room. She had just barely gotten out of her armor and cleaned up from the last mission and it was already time for the next. Shepard told Kelley to have Garrus and Jack get ready to go. Even though she had yet to see Jack in combat, she knew their biotics combined would be deadly on the Collectors.

Alexis headed to the armory. _I still can't believe they put it on deck two. How stupid._

Jack was already in there getting her shotgun situated. "Ready when you are, Shepard."

Jack was wearing her usual, well, nothing. "Like hell you are." Alexis grumbled, pointing out Jack's lack of armor. Garrus' laugh filled the room; Shepard hadn't realized the turian infiltrator had come in behind her.

Jack scoffed. "You got a better idea, Shepard?"

"Actually, yeah," Alexis walked over to the locker and opened it. "Cerberus got me a second set of armor. You look like you're pretty much my size. I bet it will fit you."

Jack stared at the Cerberus armor that Shepard offered for her to wear, then back at Shepard. "If you think I'm wearing Cerberus armor then you're either stupid or delirious."

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Fine, you can wear my N7 set and I'll wear the goddamn Cerberus shit. We'll get you your own armor after this mission because I'm sure as hell not going to rep these assholes any more than I have to." Jacob coughed, reminding Shepard he was still in the room.

After they suited up, Alexis and Garrus stared at Jack. Garrus was the first to talk. "She kinda looks…"

"Like me," Alexis cut him off. "Fuck, Jack, if I didn't know any better, I would think we were twins."

Jack burst into laughter. "Our attitudes certainly are."

Alexis, Garrus, and Jack enjoyed their little hilarious fit for a bit, Jacob laughing along uncomfortably. It ended with Miranda appeared in the room and informed them they needed to go see Mordin for their anti-seeker-swarm treatment.

* * *

With every corner she turned on Horizon, Alexis looked for Kaidan. She would have enjoyed having another vanguard with her on the field if it weren't for her distracted state of mind. Garrus could sense her struggle, and made sure to help keep her focused on the task at hand.

Finally, they made it to the GARDIAN Tower and put EDI to work calibrating it. Collectors attacked them in droves – Garrus sniped them from a sneaky perch only the taller turian could have managed to climb into, and Alexis and Jack aggressively attacked them synchronized biotic attacks punctuated by shotgun fire.

Then things got quiet – too quiet.

"What the fuck is that!?" Jack shouted – pointing at the eerie floating collector that had a belly full of what looked like husk heads. It was making a bee-line for Alexis so she and grabbed the Collector Particle Rifle she had picked up earlier and fired it as she ran, drawing the enemy away while Jack and Garrus hit it with everything they had.

The floating monstrosity hit the ground, and the squad stopped to catch their breath, assuming it was done for. A large force emanated from it and knocked Jack out. Alexis cursed, and she and Garrus continued their attack until the damn thing finally disintegrated. "Yeah, I don't think it's coming back after that," Alexis noted. Garrus rushed to help Jack, and the mechanic they spoke with earlier came out of the bunker behind them, complaining as the Collector ship retreated.

Alexis glared at him. "I saved as many as I could!" She shouted, exhausted. "If I could have done anything more to help them, I would have!"

"Don't worry," Garrus' voice responded in place of the gawking worker. "I'm sure the other survivors will be more grateful, Shepard." Jack dusted herself off and stood beside her new turian friend, nodding in agreement.

"Shepard?" The worker asked in recognition. "I've heard that name before."

Suddenly, a husky voice Alexis would never forget came from behind her. "Commander Shepard, Butcher of Torfan, the first human Spectre, and Savior of the Citadel."

Alexis turned to find Kaidan standing there. _He's alive! Holy shit!_ She wanted to run and jump and hug him, but something about his demeanor was off, so she waited awkwardly instead.

"You're in the presence of a legend, Delan," Kaidan spoke and glared at her. Woah, what's with that look? Alexis was taken aback. "And a ghost," Kaidan concluded.

The annoyed civilian complained about Kaidan surviving and walked away, leaving the alliance soldier with Shepard and her squad. Kaidan hesitated in his approach, his eyes flitting back and forth between Alexis and something behind her. Shepard turned to follow his gaze, Jack standing a few paces behind her. Confidently, Alexis turned to Kaidan and met his topaz orbs with her sapphire ones, assuring him which of them was her. He took a step forward, his gaze finally settling exclusively on her. Shepard's royal blue eyes twinkled with an innocence that Kaidan was the only one to ever see, her soft side shimmering through her azure pools solely for him. The two approached each other, slowly, hesitantly, and finally embraced, biotic energy flaring lightly in response to their touch.

"I thought you were dead, Shepard. We all did." Kaidan pulled back slightly from their embrace to look upon her face. "I missed you Alexis," he admitted, his expression full of pain.

"Kaidan, I've been trying to find you for so damn long," Alexis tried to touch his face, but he forced her hand away.

"Really?" Kaidan asked defensively. "For two years I've mourned you. In all that time, you couldn't even manage for someone to at least let me know you were alive?"

"I was unconscious up until a few weeks ago, Kaidan. I _was_ dead. Cerberus managed to put me back together." Alexis was growing impatient and tried to keep her tone calm for her lover.

Kaidan stepped back and looked at Alexis, his visage almost disgusted. "So you're with Cerberus now?" he accused.

Alexis shook her head. "Absolutely not. They're working for me."

Kaidan scoffed and pointed out her Cerberus branded armor. "Really, Ally?"

Shepard's head dropped back with a frustrated sigh as she rolled her eyes skyward. "Damnit, I'm only wearing this shit because Jack needed some armor. Kaidan, you have to believe me."

Kaidan's eyes flitted past Shepard back over to Jack, and then his gaze moved slightly to the side to where Garrus was standing. "Garrus, too? I don't believe this," Kaidan hissed.

"Damn it, Kaidan, you're letting your feelings about Cerberus blind you." Garrus shot back.

The harsh words exchanged between Garrus and Kaidan faded to an almost imperceptible hum as Alexis' mind clouded with misery. _He doesn't believe you. He doesn't want anything to do with you. You're nothing to him._ Only the sudden movement of Kaidan turning to walk away snapped Alexis from her dark thoughts. "Kaidan - wait!" Shepard desperately exclaimed. "Come with us. I…" she swallowed the lump in her throat and attempted to not sound as anguished as she felt. "We could use your help."

Kaidan shook his head and frowned, appalled she would ask. "No, I'll never work for Cerberus." He declared and began to walk away again. After taking a few steps, he stopped for a brief moment and turned back to Alexis to say one last thing. "Be careful out there, Shepard." Kaidan's amber eyes were full of pain as they met Shepard's royal blue ones for a millisecond.

Alexis didn't even wait for Kaidan to be out of earshot before she ordered Joker to come and pick them up. She concluded the call with a simple sentiment:

"I've had enough of this fucking colony."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is now caught up with ff.net as well. I have a one-shot about how Alexis joined the Alliance I need to post, and will be writing another about the friend, Gage, mentioned in this chapter soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexis Shepard vents after Horizon, but is interrupted by Garrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by “Titanium” by David Guetta featuring Sia. (Which is really close to “Siha.” Ha.) Lyrics are quoted within the chapter.
> 
> Thank you to roguemystic, tyrantmoves, bioticsandheadshots, Kaeberlily, sabalore, and DustieRhoades for kudos, and to tyrantmoves for the review also -- it really means a lot! :)

Alexis went straight to her private quarters after getting picked up from Horizon’s surface. She said nothing, nor made eye contact with anyone, and those around her knew better than to ask for her attention when her posture was stiff, determined, and her eyes flat.

She peeled off the disgusting Cerberus armor, which she now had even more disdain for, and threw it into her locker in her bedroom. Before slamming the door shut she grabbed her boxing gauze and tape and began the ritualistic process of wrapping her hands.  First the gauze, twisting and turning it around her hands and knuckles, tearing it off with her teeth when it was complete. She tossed the remainder of the roll onto the white bed and repeated the process with the tape. Shepard loved the feeling of her hands wrapped; it meant it was therapy time.

Alexis headed to her computer to start up her music. She wore only the black racer back tank and under shorts that she kept on beneath her armor. As she approached the desk, Shepard passed the hanging bag and gently caressed it once before leaning over her desk chair and queuing up her music.

Her attention turned back to the object which would provide her release, the bag frozen as it hung from its stand. Soon, it would be in motion. Alexis danced around the column and put her hands up to protect her face. She began with a simple punch, her pace slow at first, though quickly accelerating. Almost in time with the music, her body moved and abused the punching bag with a seamless series of seemingly choreographed jabs, crosses, hooks, and kicks. Her knuckles grew sore from the intense contact even though they were properly bound.

Fortissimo music filled her cabin, so loud that it could be easily heard in the elevator and perhaps even on the deck below. Alexis sang at the top of her lungs as she continued her routine.

> __I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose  
>  __Fire away, fire away  
>  __Ricochet, you take your aim  
>  __Fire away, fire away  
>  __You shoot me down, but I won’t fall  
>    _I am titanium  
>  __You shoot me down, but I won’t fall  
>  ___I am titanium

Unexpectedly, the music stopped, and Alexis cursed as the silence broke her concentration. Her ears picked up another sound in the music’s absence – EDI must have overridden the speakers in her cabin. “Commander Shepard, Garrus has been requesting permission to enter your quarters for a considerable amount of time now.”

Alexis didn’t hide the annoyance in her voice when she responded to the AI. “Did you turn off my music, EDI?”

“I thought you would want to know a member of the crew wished to speak with you.” EDI responded as diplomatically as possible.

“Well, you were wrong,” Alexis grumbled. She had kept the music has loud as she did so that if anyone knocked or requested her attention she wouldn’t hear, and they would get the point and leave. However, now that her routine was already broken she decided to go ahead and speak with her turian friend. “Fine, let Garrus in.” The door slid open, and as Garrus made his approach Alexis said one more thing to the AI. “Oh, and EDI – next time the music is that loud, don’t interrupt me.”

As EDI acknowledged the order from Shepard, Garrus’ two-toned voice filled the room. “You’re bleeding.”

Alexis looked down to find red liquid seeping out from her boxing tape, holes worn atop some of her knuckles. “Shit,” she muttered as she walked over to bathroom. Garrus made himself comfortable on the couch while Shepard cleaned and patched herself up.

“So,” the turian’s voice boomed again, “do you want to talk about it?”

“What do you think?” Alexis half-yelled from the bathroom.

“You didn’t hear everything Kaidan said, did you?” Garrus’ question was more an announcement than an inquiry.

Alexis poked her head out, now more interested in why her friend wanted to chat. “No,” she admitted as she approached the living area of her quarters.

Garrus let out a chortle. “See, I know you. I knew you had already drifted into self-destruct mode.”

“Congratulations,” Alexis plopped herself down on the perpendicular part of the L shaped sofa. “Did you expect a prize?” She sarcastically quipped.

The turian pulled out his cheesiest tone in his vocal arsenal. “The prize is being one of the few people who truly knows Commander Shepard.”

Alexis rolled her eyes and tossed a pillow at him, mocking annoyance. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

There was a slight pause as Garrus chuckled and felt the soft impact of the pillow on his face. In that time, Alexis had moved her gaze to her injured knuckles. Garrus could tell she wasn’t going to say anything more without prompting, so he spoke up again. “Don’t you want to know?”

Alexis swallowed as she met Garrus’ sapphire stare with her own. “Of course I do.”

Garrus mandibles flapped nervously before speaking. “He said he wasn’t sure if he could believe it was really you.”

Alexis’ intense eyes began to water. She refused to blink, not allowing the would-be tears to leave her eyes.

“I tried to explain, but he wouldn’t listen,” Garrus continued in Shepard’s silence.

“Explain what?” she asked sharply.

“Why I know it’s you,” the turian’s mandibles twitched.

Alexis stood and stared him down. “I can understand his doubts. I have them myself,” she paced a few steps, stopped and turned her back to Garrus before asking her next question. “Why don’t you?” Shepard gazed out the window into the black abyss as she waited for his answer.

“Because I know how Cerberus ended up with your body,” Garrus offered.

Alexis whipped around, her hair flying like tiny blades following her movement. “ _ What?!” _

Garrus gulped. “Liara gave it to them. She told Tali and me after the fact…” his voice trailed off.

Now tears, full of anger and sadness, flowed freely from Alexis’ eyes; they had welled over to the point where she could no longer hold them back. “But not Kaidan? Why the fuck not?”

Garrus maintained his composure as his friend’s crumbled. “You’ll have to ask Liara that one. She insisted she had good reasons, and made Tali and me promise not to say anything.”

“Goddammit, Vakarian!” Shepard slammed her fists into the punching bag, reopening the wounds she had just patched up.

“Shepard, I’m sorry,” Garrus apologized with utmost sincerity.

Alexis shook her hand and turned to Garrus, offering an unexpected kind response. “I appreciate you telling me the truth and the apology…but I can’t accept it right now.”

Garrus slightly smiled; he knew this was the best possible outcome he could have had from this conversation. “I understand. Take your time, Shepard,” he said as he stood, his tall form towering over Alexis’ short one.

“Time and a chat with Liara,” she grumbled as Garrus exited her quarters. 


End file.
